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1996 Citroen XM 2.1TD VSX For Sale

1996 Citroen XM 2.1TD VSX 125k Miles (125-ish, see below) MOT extended to September 2020 £800 ono Today I list for sale, Genevieve the Emerald Express Ship. If you’ve any aspirations or delusions of being a spaceship pilot, or need a budget hearse for a cut price funeral direction operation, this here’s the machine for you. Belonged to an aul boy in the Independent Republic of Portglenone from nearly new, and only traded her in for an automatic car because he has a bad hip and couldn’t get the clutch in any more. Being an old French diesel, its mechanically bombproof. A little on the agricultural side, but just sips at the diesel. The low rev high torque turbo oil burner will get you the whole way to 60 without breaking 2000 revs, and you’ll get 45+mpg if you’re chauffeuring your grandmother on the day she’s wearing white dress and holding a large pot of her famous tomato and veg soup. I’m still getting high 30’s when the car contains no elderly relatives. Well, I was sure of that when the speedo was well behaved, but right now its… sleeping. See below. That said, she might be wonderful on diesel because some of the combustion might be coming from the oil. Will require the occasional top up every few weeks but this functions very well as a gradual oil replacement method. That and leaving the bai behind you in a cloud at the lights never gets old. However, being an old French car, she’s electrically questionable. The cooling fans have been recently refurbished and worked perfectly on the workbench but are not so enthusiastic when fitted to the car. Replacing the two missing relays would most likely do the job, but dammit it’s hard to get parts right now. It says there’s 123k on the clock, but sometimes the speedo says I’m not moving at all when the trees are quite clearly whizzing past me. My best guess is we’re sitting at 126-127k, but this will climb from the time of writing as she is my daily whip. Probably another corroded connection, but that particular sensor is on top of the gearbox and I don’t have a car lift to go fishing for it. Further to that, the fuel gauge has packed up too. Again most likely another corroded connected at the sender, but that sensor is on top of the tank, which I’ve been keeping relatively full as I’m not sure how much there is and don’t want to run out at 70 mph in the left lane on the M1 with a truck beside me and a car behind. Again. Oh and the central locking has become a bit of a pest, might take a few goes to lock it. AND OH BOY WE HAVENT EVEN GOTTEN TO THE BEST PART. The magic carpet suspension. You pick the ride height, and she just eats up the speed bumps. Get out and the open road and it stops being a car; instead sitting somewhere between a baby cruise liner and the starship enterprise. Couple that lovely ride to the fact the seats are more like armchairs and you’ll wonder if you’re in car or a flying living room. Adjustable right height via a funky little slider switch beside the gearstick means you can be crossover tall (perfect for mcdonalds drive thru and bullying/feeling surperior to lesser motorists in smaller cars), or drop it proper-stanced, lowrider-slammed, exhaust-dragging low for all of the reasons that people pay actual money to have their cars look like that. I don’t fully understand it myself as bumpy coutry roads are then off limits, and you then have to go sideways over a speedbump. BUT, in an XM, you just put it to normal car height and stop worrying about it. Imagine pulling up next to the lads on their lowered Boras and Leons in the Tescos car park on a Sunday night (is it still Sunday? Been a while since I’ve been carparking) low enough to be accepted by this coil-over obsessed clan, and ye don’t have to muck about with loud exhausts because the clatter from that faintly agricultural engine makes all the urban noise pollution you could dream of. Is that noise an old Citroen or a Massey Ferguson? Who cares, it’ll get their wee culchie hearts racing. Front discs and pads fitted at Christmas; and new front suspension spheres fitted a couple weeks after. Manufacturer genuine purebred French-speaking Citroen ones from the homeland. Even with new post-‘09 logo on, I had no idea they still made these. Failing to depressurise the hydraulic system before I unscrewed the old ones taught me what LHM fluid tastes like and I assure it is not pleasant. The leaky front left suspension strut has been replaced since this was last listed, and the glow plugs and battery are also fairly fresh. As far as I’m aware there are no malicious voodoo spells or gypsy curses attached to the car or any of its mechanicals. Bodyworks a little scruffy, but what tired twenty something isn’t beginning to show signs of wear and tear? Wee bit of bubbling around the rear arches but it’ll be alright if you catch it now. Comes with the comforting smell of oil and diesel when you stand downwind, and you can keep that funky registration too (N2 GBC). Worth £250 to that numberplate website I spent 17 seconds looking for, but Nigel from Glengormley Bowling Club will have your arm for it. Breaks my wee hipster trash heart thinking about letting her go. Every journey is an event, and a super comfortable one at that. With the back seats down she’s been a bedroom for two damaged festival goers more than once, and you’ll never ever see another one coming the other way. Alas, I'll have a new car in the near future and this one needs more time, skill and resources than I have available right now. There’s a fantastic car in there somewhere waiting to be pulled back from the edge, if I’d a penny for every time I was told an XM was a future classic I’d be able to buy at least two packets of jaffa cakes. She’s just a bit too rough to keep as my daily as is, and wayyy too good to scrap. I wont try to delude myself or any potential buyer in saying this is a perfect wagon; that it is not. I’m sure everything I said so far is evidence of that. It’s either or an easy restoration, a rolling project that can be delivered under its own steam and MOT, or a parts car with every part present. Would prefer this go to an enthusiast that appreciates weird old Citroens, some mentally questionable madman obsessed with 90’s metal like I am, or just anyone that’s mechanically minded and enjoys mild forms of torture. All this joy and wonder for the low low price of just eight hundred of Her Majesty’s sterling pounds; your eldest daughter’s hand in marriage, or any other sensible offers. Granted that may feel steep for a very well appointed shed, the next cheapest XM with an MOT I can find online is pushing 1600 and AH NO WOT I HAV M8. The car is Portadown, (Co Armagh), but could be delivered reasonable distances within Northern Ireland if I can figure out what I’m gonna say should a policeman he asks why I’m not in the house. Thankyou for reading, enjoy your day, scrub your paws, follow your dreams. - Daniel x
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